Hi there!
Welcome to our June Finale for Adam Silvera's They Both Die at the End. And we can tell you, we were wrecked at the end of this one. Whew.
Trigger Warning: death, gun violence, car crash, explosion, tragic love, ambulance, hospital
Overall
We liked the editing in this book A LOT and we appreciated that the perspective would change when characters bumped into each other and that we got more world-building between the different characters' experiences. For example, when Mateo and Rufus pass two girls getting onto the subway train, Zoe and Gabriella, the next chapter immediately jumped to their point of view, so we could see Mateo and Rufus, and the world as a whole, through their eyes for a moment. We really appreciated this especially when Dalma Young (the creator of Last Friend) got to see the boys pass her in the street, and then we saw how happy they were in her eyes, even going so far as seeing them as lifelong friends or cousins.
We still think the author made some seriously confusing word choices that don't make any sense to us, or any young reader at this time in history. Maybeeeee if this book came out in the early 2000's it would make sense, but even then the word choices were just a little out of time. We chalked it up to Adam, yet again, being an adult and not as in touch with the popular lingo of the day.
We also wanted to point out that this book is far less about the characters being gay or a romance, but truly about living life to the fullest in the limited time we have on this earth; Mateo and Rufus just happened to have an expedited setting for that timeline.
Mateo
Mateo had some pretty dynamic growth in the second half of this book. We see the first selfless decision that Mateo makes; he protects Rufus from whatever might happen on the train when the lights go out and the train comes to a sudden stop. He has grown a little bit, and this is the start of a major character change for him, which we were SO excited about. Future Mateo is COMING.
Soon after - Mateo jumps off of the back of the bike, which was a small victory for him, in terms of him taking risks. It was a start of a turning point. The fake skydiving was "just what he signed up for," too safe and easy, but not for Future Mateo. He wants more out of life, and if he only has one day to get it, you can be sure he's going to try his hardest.
We were shocked when they both pull up to Mateo's mom's grave, and the undertakers are digging Mateo's grave right next to hers. This made it way more real. By taking this day to live as much as you can, you kind of have to ignore that you're dying in order to take risks and live. We almost forgot that they were dying because they were having a better time living, but this moment with the grave threw it back in our faces and reminded us that they are essentially on a time limit that is quickly coming.
We were incredibly happy that Mateo did the brave thing about reconnecting with Lidia at the Travel Arena, and we were happy that Lidia got to forgive him and be with him on his End Day. It was another brave thing that Mateo did to get back in touch with Lidia.
Much later, when everyone is at Clint's Graveyard, and the Gang with No Name shows up - Mateo punches Peck right in the face. WHAMO! We loved that. Talk about Future Mateo coming to bat!
We loved that Mateo came out of his shell, finally. We loved it. What made the first half boring was that Mateo was so reserved, but his coming out of his nervous habits in the second half of the book was such a great breakthrough. He became the Future Mateo that he always wanted to be.
Rufus
We have much less about Rufus because his changes were very minor - he was much more of a static character than we believe Adam intended him to be. At Clint's Graveyard, we love that Rufus was reunited with the Pluto's, even though it led to Peck finding them. During the fight at Clint's, Rufus gets the gun, and instead of shooting Peck like he wanted to, he took the high road and unloads the gun into the wall and they all run.
Rufus also goes through a low-key type of healing that Mateo doesn't experience. Rufus has already gone through the other stages of grief at this point in the story, having lost his family long ago. So his transformation is mostly about acceptance, and less about coming out of his shell, like Mateo's experience. We think that Rufus came more to a place of letting life be as it is instead of trying to aggressively control the life around him. He is learning to let go instead of being the dominant personality in every room. He's giving space to others and that's okay.
Dynamic Duo Becomes Romeo and Romeo
We finally see the beginning of a romance between the two in the second half of this book. At least on Rufus' side, we get confirmation that Rufus likes Mateo a lot, but he wants Mateo to make a move first. This gives Mateo an opportunity to come out of his shell more, and be the Future Mateo he wants to be. Adam did a great job at bringing the two of them together and writing the best fluff for them.
The moment where they were creating stories for each other and strangers was so heartwarming and fun and brought them closer together. Ceraya and Brieanna loved this as an improv game too - go do this with your friends! We also loved the rainforest jump at the Travel Arena. A safe risk. But very nice. We were nervous when they jumped, but happy they held hands and saw them survive to enjoy it. We loved the little romance growing between the two at this point.
At the underground dance club - Clint's Graveyard - they finally kiss for the first time! Mateo kisses Rufus and it is adorable, squeeeee!!!! FINALLY!!! It's quite precious, Mateo took another leap and is now really making strides towards becoming Future Mateo! After the fight, they go back to Mateo's apartment, and Mateo sings for Rufus (ANOTHER LEAP), and they sleep together. The author's notes include that they have sex, and we totally think they should have so this makes sense to be canon. They verbally confess their love for each other, and then fall asleep. Even though there is an overhanging tragedy floating over our lovers' heads, we really appreciate how Adam wrote their romance. It was very natural and real, aside from being as expedited as it was, but that's what made it interesting.
Tragedy
The finale of this novel was both expected and unexpected for both of us. We were so incredibly sad that Mateo passed away first because Rufus had said the entire time that he didn't want Mateo to go first because Rufus couldn't handle the guilt of losing his family, then losing Mateo too and living through that at all. Dang, the author really did that.
Mateo dies in an explosion from his faulty stove, and Rufus tries to get him to the hospital, but he's quite clearly dead, so Rufus is taken in an ambulance in order to get cleaned up. Rufus goes to visit Mateo's Dad and leaves him a loving note, which is also sad, and then goes to walk to Althea Park to spend his last moments in a special place, and crosses the street while listening to Mateo's voice singing to him on his phone. We thought this was fitting - mostly because if Mateo's growth gave Rufus hope in his heart, or at least some kind of joy, it only makes sense that he would focus on his End Day.
Living Life to the Fullest
The second half of this book focused much on risk-taking bravery, fear, and what that means for someone on a limited timeline (a.k.a. ALL OF US).
The Travel Arena is another really cool aspect of the second half of this book. There is a tour that goes through each major country and biome to show you the world. In the print copy of the book, the author's notes of the Travel Arena goes so much more in-depth, but both of us think this place should be real! It seemed affordable and respectable and more than necessary for major cities, especially ones with people who can't afford regular world travel.
Jumping in the rainforest was magical too, and it was a gorgeous way to take a small risk and literally "leap" into the future, just like we should all do.
Conclusion
We highly recommend this book. We thought the editing and story combined were really well done. It's a great lesson about taking risks and enjoying life while you can, because you never really know when it's your time to go. It's a good example of a book with Queer characters that don't really have anything to do with the Queer Experience. It's not about being gay. It's about loving life. It's nice that this book is about letting Queer characters be who they are without the gay experience being their only personality trait or the driving factor of the book. The point of this book is literally to live life to the fullest, and to take that leap. No matter who you are or what that means to you.
With love, see you soon!
Ceraya & Brieanna
Comments